easter was a success* r*a*s- had a blast* last night the easter bunny hung streamers in the doorway, put up all kinds of fun spring-looking decorations, hid 12 eggs, and put out all of the goodies* the easter bunny had so much fun* during the day yesterday, r*a*s and i dyed some eggs and r*a*s decorated an easter tree* last year was so crazy that i can't even remember what we did for easter (that is so sad)* i don't think this year could be forgotten* the joy on r*a*s face both yesterday and this morning made my whole heart sing* she ran circles around the room when she saw everything*

since we were having so much fun yesterday, i did not have time for the blog* durning the day, things would pop into mind that i should write about* this morning, i finally decided on my easter discussion* i always have a lot of mixed feelings this time of year* when i think about easter--- i mostly think about sacrifice*

1. the offering of animal, plant, or human life or of some material possession  to a deity, as in propitiation or homage.

2. the person, animal, or thing so offered.

3. the surrender or destruction of something prized or desirable for the sake of something considered as having a higher or more pressing claim.

4. the thing so surrendered or devoted.

5. a loss incurred in selling something below its value.

 

from my years 14-21 i focused a lot on the "sacrifices" i was making (not buying the "it" shirt from the "it" place so that i could use my own money for gas to get to school and not ask my parents)* looking back on the referred to-- they were never really "sacrifices*" i do not believe that i ever gave up something truly prized for the pure benefit of another animal life* as i get older, i certainly value the breath i have been given by my higher-power* however, i value the breath of my loved ones more* if you had asked me when i was 20, "would you step in front of a bullet for (insert name here)" i probably would have told you yes* the reason for my reply would have been because doing so would have been expected and "right*" it is right to sacrifice ourselves for others* i am pretty secure in my thoughts at 24 that looking back to myself at 20 this is all BS* to sacrifice ones life because it is "right" is not really sacrifice at all* sacrifice for the sake of something considered as having a higher or more pressing claim (more precious) and making this sacrifice wholeheartedly seems to be something worth praising* would i sacrifice my own life for my children* yes* would i sacrifice my own life for my husband* yes* would i sacrifice my own life for my mother, father, or sister* yes* would i sacrifice my life for a friend who has been in my life for a year* i wish i could say wholeheartedly that i would* however, when push came to shove---i think i might play dead* my reason for this is  not because i fear death and not because i do not love my neighbor* my reason--i have family* they are considered my higher more pressing claim* we are all human and we all have our line for true sacrifice*

 

when i think about organized religion and the man---i can see why they say it was the ultimate sacrifice* gosh---if i gave up my life for the whole of humanity--people i both knew and didn't and nowhere in my heart did i have any any other reason for this sacrifice (like it being my duty) except that the whole of humanity was my more pressing claim, i would hope there was an entire day to celebrate my gift to all the world* as sacrilegious as it may sound--- i really have struggled with this idea over the years* if i was this man, hanging on a cross, giving my life for people who were standing below me ridiculing me, torturing me, mocking me--- my human response would be to have some doubt* i wonder where his line was* i wonder if he even had a line* i wonder, am i selfish because i have such a short line* how does one believe in something so deeply and so huge to sacrifice for all humanity* it really just doesn't seem within the human nature* i guess this is where faith starts*

 

Chlodzic,
TFS